I sit and think of sad things.
I hate being alone.
Yes, Katie is here, but I am basically alone.
So then I start to think about friends and that is never good, to be honest.
Who can I call? Then I start asking, do they really want to talk to me? Then I ask, when was the last time they called me? Maybe they don’t call me ever because they don’t like talking to me?
The only person who calls me to tell me what is going on in their life is my mom. She is gone right now on a cruise. I miss her terribly. I am used to calling her once or twice a day, and vice versa. She seriously calls me just to tell me something small going on in her life and I love that. I love that she WANTS me to be a part of her life.
So then that takes me back to others and why they don’t call me. It isn’t about me sharing with them, cause when I call them I ask about them and I tell them about me and I am happy to talk to them. But then do they not call me because they don’t like talking to me? They don’t want to tell me what is going on in their lives? It has given me this huge complex.
Anyways… I am just bummed about things and no one to talk to about it because the one person I know who cares is gone right now. And as she would say: “you are on your pity pot Pat.” And I am.