Didn’t your mother teach you…


My mom and I were on the phone this afternoon. We were talking away, blah, blah, blah… I called her on her cell phone and the house phone rang. “Hold on Pat” (note to ALL: only my mother and my sister are allowed to call me Pat) “Hello?… Oh, hi Ginger! Can you hold on for a moment?” she gets back on the phone with me “Ok hunny, I have to go. I will call you back later when you are in the car.” To which I reply “Mother, that is just so rude! never mind calling me back, bye, i love you” (can’t hang up without saying i love you to my mom, story coming soon)

Ok, first of all, WHO is Ginger? My mom doesn’t have a friend named Ginger. I have several friends named Ginger and I would remember her having one. Second, was that call sooooo important that she could tell Ginger that she would call her back in a few minutes?

My mom, growing up, told me that we couldn’t have call waiting because it was rude to stop a conversation with one person to start a conversation with another. I have never put my mom on hold except to tell someone else I would call them back. Why? My mother told me that was the right thing to do. So, she just doesn’t practice what she preaches I see. hmmmmph.

This all led to a conversation with my buddy The Chartreuse Monkey (not her real name, just what she goes by) and she said if she were my mom she would never hang up with me to talk to another. I told her that she is way too young to have me as a daughter. This led to talking about getting upset with mom’s… but I am not currently upset with my mom, just think it is funny. So then that led to me saying “besides. I can’t keep Katie away from my mom, they are soul mates.”

That is true, my mom and Katie are soul mates. My mom’s mom’s (Gram) was my soul mate and I hope to reconnect when Katie has her first daughter. It is a pattern that goes on and on in our family. (when Katie cries, she looks EXACTLY like my mom when my mom cries.)

My gram died in 1986 and I was 10. It was horrible because I loved her so. Things I remember about her:
1) She drank, a lot, but never seemed to be drunk to me.
2) She always had black hair (curly short) and never saw gray
3) she smoked like a chimney
4) she always sang little songs to me (my mom and I and Katie all do the same things, we can all sing about anything, ask us sometime!)
5) She and I would do fun things and when I went to tell my mom she would deny it ever happened.
6) She used to take me to the toy store in Jackson.
7) she made chicken salad for me, but I hated it and now, I would do anything to taste it again
8) She loved Wheel of Fortune, Dallas and Dynasty.
9) She would sit in her sweatshirt and white underwear in her kitchen chair and look out the window all day
10) her car was a big huge brown thing that smelled, bad.
11) She had HBO and I watched Fraggle Rock and Babar
12) she was Santa and I still have all the letters to and from Santa. her writing all over them.
13) from the day I was born and first slept at her house I slept in her bed with her.

I loved her. Everything felt better when I was with her. When she died, it was sad. I held her hand at the funeral home. I spent a ton of time in there with her, just me and her body. I talked to her and asked her a ton of questions. A lot of people told me things about her at her funeral. I just didn’t get it, any of it.

After she died, my mom did her best to take care of everything. It was hard. My mom was an only child to my gram and I was an only child to my mom. My dad was gone and his family never came around. So, it was just me and mom. She did her best, she really did.

For YEARS after gram died, until just a few years ago, I had horrible dreams that gram never actually died, that “they” were just keeping me from her. Though I knew, knew, it was just a nightmare, it just wouldn’t go away. I had an idea and I told both my mom and Todd about it. Go to Gram’s house and I would see she wasn’t there and I would be ok. We tried it once, and we just did a drive by. It didn’t work. Then, we did it again, only this time we went to the front door. My mom knew the owner, friends from long, long ago. They had renovated the entire house and it was MASSIVE! Amazing (I would love to own that house someday). It was then that I never had another nightmare about gram hiding in the house again. 🙂

Anyways… mom, stop putting me on hold. it is rude. I love you 🙂


One response to “Didn’t your mother teach you…

  1. LOVE THIS BLOG! I had the same connection with my grandma (mom’s mom). Miss her every single day.

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